Friday, November 23, 2012

Time to let go...

It is that moment in my life when I have to choose between letting go or staying behind, and for that matter there really isn't a plausible option of staying behind, it is more like keeping this depressed-hostile-attitude while the world keeps going. So of course I am choosing 'letting go' because I am tired of suffering, of disappointments and all that involves dragging your past.

I am making a list of everything that I am letting go.

So here we go:
-I am letting go of the heart-breaking experience of moving out of California and leaving that kind of life and amazing friends behind.
-I am letting go of those horrible friends that kept my life miserable in Mexico.
-I am letting go of the pain my dad went through when he lost his father and letting go of the pain I went through losing a grandfather.
-I am letting go of that job at the Film Festival that didn't quite worked for me.
-I am letting go of the guy that I kind of liked that stood me up.
-I am letting go of that illusion with the Colombian guy.
-I am letting go of all the fears of failing and succeeding.
-I am letting go my dragging feet attitude.
-I am letting go of the feeling of not being good enough in every aspect that I have it.
-I am letting go of my depressed thoughts that involves "life sucks".

I am letting go of my past because "As long as you live in the past, you'll never find your future."

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

What? I'm loving Wednesday!

It's been a long time since I'm loving a Wednesday and even longer since I've said out loud or here.

So let's be grateful for this beautiful life and this happy Wednesday!

I am linking up with Jamie from the blog This Kind of Love and here it goes...

 I'm loving the little butterflies that fly inside of me!

I'm loving all the traveling! I've been very lucky this year!

I'm loving my sweet family that are being so supportive.

I'm loving all the new friends I have made this couple of months.

I'm loving having the energy to love this Wednesday!

Monday, October 29, 2012

Everybody is right...

Everybody is telling me to open my heart, let go and live it to the fullest. But how do you do that when you are just too scared. When every other relationship ended in tears and pain. I am tired of crying in the corner, hurting in my sleep, and pretending a smile.

I am beyond afraid of opening my heart to you. To you or anybody else for that matter. I don't want to get hurt again, I don't want to cry and have to reinvent myself again because you broke me beyond repair. And I know if I don't open my heart to pain I am not letting happiness in either, but how do you open your heart, let go and live that to the fullest? How do I move past my insecurities?

And I know everybody is right: Open my heart, let go and live to the fullest! but HOW? HOW? HOW?

While I try to figure it out, let's give it a try through music. There is a song by the Guatemala songwriter Ricardo Arjona titled Te Quiero which is about loving you while it lasts...

Like my mom says "You'll cry when you need to, but if you can smile and love for now do it!"

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Who is the complicated?

Is it life the complicated or the human beings? What is life without human beings? What are human beings without life?

When the feeling gets too much we use the phrase "Life is too complicated!" and is it? or are we the complicated? How does it really works? Who is to blame?

Is it a personal choice to have a complicated situation? Is it others? Is it our neighbor? Or just the way life is? And if so how do we move past it?

The world goes round and round and sometimes life feels soooooo complicated when others it feels like a walk on the park. Ups and downs like a roller-coaster...

So is life complicated or a walk on the park? And if so how do we deal with complication?

I know, I know, it is the way life is...

Friday, May 4, 2012

I am feeling the blank...

Lately I have been thinking about recreating myself, because I no longer feel like before, maybe it is time to change the name of my blog to actual state. I am feeling stronger and happier. So I'll think about where I want to go from here and probably start walking that way, in the meanwhile here are the blanks filled!

linking up with Lauren from the little things we do

1.  My bedtime routine includes,  brushing my teeth (eventually), taking my make-up off, and depending my mood I'll watch some tv while falling asleep, or read an amazingly romantic or funny book and then dreaming away.

2.   I am  who I am, people don't change. I am a loving, creating, funny woman. Yes, modest too.  .

3.  I can't stand  dishonesty   because   more times that not, truth solves it all.

4. My idea of relaxation would be  a massage, then some resting with a daiquiri .

5. If I had an extra $50, I would    save them for my photo equipment or my so wanted trip to California!  .

6. The best thing about a bloggy friend is   they don't judge you because of how you look, they care about you because of who you are.

7.  A recipe I've been dying to try is a vodka pasta sauce! .

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I'm loving XXVI

It is an up and down, here and there, birthdays celebrations and even black clouds kind of week, but I am loving this week! It is my week!

I am linking up with Jamie from the blog This Kind of Love and here it goes, What I'm Loving Wednesday...

I'm loving my birthday! It is today! XXVI :)

I'm loving my dads bday! Yesterday!

I'm loving my family who indulge me in my multiple bday celebrations and all craziness when it comes to Feb 22!

I'm loving my friends who lo ve me even as crazy as I am!

I'm loving the multiple bday celebrations! It is only once that I get to XXVI

I'm loving life with its ups and downs!

I'm loving the beautiful sunshine today!

I'm loving!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Week please change

Happy Monday!!!
Sweet Tuesday.
Weird Wednesday...
Sometimes I lo ve Wed nes dayssssss,
Relax on Thursday.
I definitely didn't fill in the Friday...
Non-sleep Saturday,
And I cried Sunday.

That has been my week, but tomorrow a new one begins...

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

How do you deal?

How do you deal with loss? sorrow? pain?
How do you deal with yourself?

How do you explain others what you feel? What hurts? When everything hurts, thinking, feeling, everything.
How do you explain that it is not their fault? But it still hurts.

How can you feel the loss of a life you had when you are in a new life filled with lo ve ?

Why does it hurt? Why do you feel a hole when there is so much to fill it?
Why does it have to hurt? Why can't you just accept?

Why does it feel like I don't belong here? Why does it feel I don't belong in this time?

Why is there only pain where there was only happiness?

How do you deal? How do I deal?

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Far away

I have been out of this part of my world for a little bit. Why? I could say because I am busy but knowing me, I could argue that is an excuse.

So really I have been out because I might be afraid of how I feel and what I feel. I am super stressed out and hurting, physically hurting. All due to this job hunting and new life coping situation... At least that is what I think.

I am back because I need to talk to someone about how I feel, and I don't really want to drop this on anybody. So post it here on my free space, free for words, and free of judgment.

The thing is I can't complain, not about my life and not about my surroundings, but I am past way stressed and this needs to change because this is not healthy at all and I am not getting any younger.

Let's breath together... One... Two... and Three...