Friday, December 16, 2011

From the other side of the world a day behind!


It is a day call Shishi, on the other side of my world!!

Israel you've been amazing!!



1.   My most favorite "little thing" is     feeling good, no matter if it is happiness or sadness, but feeling great with myself   .

2.   I give anything to   sleep on my own bed, shower on my bathroom and have my closet available to me     .

3.  I can't believe    we judge so much other people and other countries   .

4. The one thing I'd like to achieve today is    get some good rest!   .

5.  The last thing I want to do today is    watch long movies  .

6.  If I were writing my own blank today, it would say:  Lsat itme I darkn was......!   .

7.  My favorite candle scent is   Almond! I don't recall ever smelling one, but lately if it is not eggplant it is almond! :)  .

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Ce qui J'aime Mercredi!

It is the middle of the working week, the begging of my adventure and the end of something else.... :)


I am linking up with Jamie from the blog This Kind of Love and here it goes, What I'm Loving Wednesday...




I'm loving the begging of my adventure!

I'm loving my blessed family!

I'm loving the light packing, only one bag and that is sooooo light for me!

I'm loving getting to know strangers!

I'm loving having amazing "California" friends!


I'm loving blogging and linking, and wishing and hoping! :)


I'm loving and that is the beauty of it I'm loving

Friday, November 25, 2011

Game Over!!!

I lost the game. I realize that now. All the cards were played and I lost. I am not sure if you won or we just both lost. Maybe it was a no-win situation, or maybe... maybe. But it is done, it was done long ago and it is still done now.

So why am I writing about it again? Why do I keep thinking of and about you? Why do I keep remembering?

I realized it today. I fell for you. I fell in lo ve with you.

And falling out of lo ve from you; well that is the difficult part. I knew I liked you a lot, but I just recognized it, I fell in lo ve with you.

How can falling in lo ve translate to losing? to game over?

It was worth it, this is not about regretting falling for you. But it is about how I feel broken now, like a part of me is missing and I wonder if I'll ever lo ve again, will I ever be loved again? That is for me a game over, a lost game.

I mi ss yo U in my life. I mi ss walking the streets with you, laughing about Vodka, Giggles and Shy boy, about random coffee names and about our camping adventures. It aches every time I tell a story about us, because I have to disguise my feelings and our relationship. You became a friend and in stead of being funny it hurts. Daydreaming, night-dreaming and movie-dreaming is pain, pure pain.

It is not like it used to be, that everything I am reminds me of you. No, it hurts different. Because I ache for what it was, what it isn't and what it will never become.

Your friend, who became my friend said to me when talking about our broken path:
  • "its okay though
    i think its honestly his lose
    :) you will always find better." 
    I know or I hope there is truth in his words and it helped eased the pain, but still there was no winner and the game is over...

Mexican Thanksgiving Friday!



This is my first Thanksgiving in Mexico, and I am really excited for all the food we cooked, it all tastes delicious. I know we are a day off, but it doesn't really matter, I am happy we get to eat this amazing food! :)

Here is the Friday linking up with Lauren from the little things we do



1.   Waking up at the break of dawn to go shopping is my idea of    a dream, hearing black friday stories is enough for me!   .

2.   If I were to go shopping today I would be on the hunt for   I don't really have anything in mind, but I could always buy more camera equipment or shoes :)      .

3.  The best thing I ate yesterday was    since I am back in Mexico, and my family doesn't really have the Thanksgiving tradition, I convinced them to have one for our Friday dinners, so I am really excited, everything is ready and it tastes delicious!     .

4. Something I've been learning lately is   who to trust and how much trust can you put on them   .

5.  I cannot start my day without    showering, it takes me time to really wake up! haha, I have a slow start, I can do a lot of thing in the morning, but most likely I will be half asleep!  .

6.  My nighttime attire consists of   tank top, long pants and sweater! .

7.  I am looking forward to   traveling, but not packing! hahaha  .

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I am loving this Wednesday!

So this Wednesday I've been hit with a terrible anxiety, and I don't really know why, or maybe I do but my consciousness doesn't want to deal with it right now... So let's get distracted!!!


I am linking up with Jamie from the blog This Kind of Love and here it goes, What I'm Loving Wednesday...




I'm loving this Twitter thing, when you ask actual information, like traffic, and seconds later someone there has the answer!!!


I'm loving being able to watch tv series online, although I hate that I see them faster than they appear!


I'm loving writing more often on my blog! It helps me get things out of my chest.


I'm loving this City Girl life I have now!


:)


and you what are you loving?

Friday, November 18, 2011

Mexican Friday!


This is the second Friday back in Mexico and the settling in has been good but tough.
Life is though but sometimes we have more challenges than other times.

Here is the Friday linking up with Lauren from the little things we do




1.   A nervous habit I have is  to crack my fingers. horrible habit, and I have been able to stop it for a while, but when hell runs lose it comes back.

2.   Something that makes me sad is the pain in the world. I know it sound generic and common, but it is something that keeps me looking for ways to help. Starting on my own backyard.

3.  Today I am thankful for  the support from my family and friends to settle in and to be comfortable and happy. I know I've said it a million times, but without it nothing would have been possible.

4. My favorite room in my house is  it used to be my studio but since it is being remodeled now my room is the favorite one, it is the one I spend more time in, all my stuff and desk and everything is here!

5.  I can't stand  part of my extended family. I am sorry I wished it was different but if you give no love you can't receive anything from me.

6.  If I had an extra $100 to spend on whatever I wanted today I would  my first thought was save it for my next trip, but knowing me I would probably would go and buy shoes! ;)

7.  The last person I hung out with was  my sister and brother in law, we went to see (yes, guilty) the new twilight movie, which was a disappointment but I lo ve going with them!


Have an amazing extended Mexican weekend! or a regular weekend on the rest of the world!

This is fun and you should try it too!


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

What I'm Loving Wednesday!

Since I discovered this link up activity I have tried to be constant and search for different ones, and as often say there is no try either you do or you don't. (I would attribute it, but I am not sure where I got it from, I've heard from Yoda, but haven't watched the movies...)...
Anyway I discovered this one a while back but I kept going to it every day except Wednesdays, so it was difficult to be part of it.... BUT finally it is Wednesday and I am here and here it goes.

I am linking up with Jamie from the blog This Kind of Love and here it goes, What I'm Loving Wednesday...


I'm loving that tomorrow I have an amazing opportunity to photograph one of the Mexican congressman at the Congress.

I'm loving the extraordinary support from my family and friends to settle in this Old New City for me!


I'm loving my new wardrobe because I get to be the City Girl I've always wanted to be!

I'm loving the WhatsApp because it keeps me in immediate touch with my friends around the world. Whom I mi ss mu ch ..

I'm loving all this linking up experiences!

and I'm loving the happy days!



Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I did not miss high school

I don't miss high school. I was happy when I was there but I was happier when it ended and I moved on to University.

I was done with high school then as I am now.

I still keep 2 good friends and some good acquaintances; because of that I have to go to parties and reunions that I would rather avoid, because I don't want to go back in time to that time, or bring that time now.

Unlike most of them I searched for my world outside those 4 walls, and those were not the happiest of my life. I was happy and I accomplished everything I wanted, but that was it and I rather be here now.

Because of who I am and how I am, I was kind of an outsider, part but not really part of them. And I don't belong there now either.

It is interesting falling in a place that you rather not be in, or better if it was different.

I respect the people whose friends are from high school, but I am not one of them. I have 2 friends from that stage of my life, and going with them places means being with their high school circle of friends, people that were not my friends and not my acquaintances, so it feels like being in high school and I don't like that feeling.

I haven't missed high school for a second in my life.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Will we forget?


Our bodies have memories.

Your hands remember the touch of my body, my hands remember your face. Yours lips can trace mine in that everlasting kiss.

I don't want to let go. I rather live in this moment where you are here, holding me, kissing me, making me feel loved. The moment I have been dreaming off since the last day I saw you, what seems like a hundred weeks ago.

I know it can't last forever and I know I won't see you again, but for now I want to hold on to this moment and not let go. Not ever and not now.

Our bodies have memories. So come back.

Kiss me like you do, hold me like you never want to let me go. Hold me with your strong hands. Trace me with your lips.

I want to talk to you and I want to kiss you. I want to walk the street by your side, holding you like you are mine. Like once we did, because we belonged to each other and everybody had to see.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Cali Friday

This is my first Friday back in Cali, and I have to say I mi ss a bit of NY. But soooon I'll be off so let's make the best out of this beautiful hot week!!!
 I'm linking up with the little things we do
 
 
 
1.   The most selfless thing I've ever done was     I'll probably have to say that when I help someone, anyone at all I do it selflessly, I like helping people for the sake of seeing them accomplish or solve their problems .

2.   When it comes to working out   I lo ve martial arts and dancing, sometimes also yoga, but I hate treadmills!      .

3.  A woman should always  Be happy! with herself and not look for approval in others, we are strong and beautiful as we are   .

4. I wish I could    have an editor to rely on for my documentaries! it would make everything easier   .

5.  A best friend is   one that you could talk about everything, that you can argue with, that you can have fun, that you can be in silence with, one that ones when to hug you and when to not literally but that knows when to slap you .

6.  I can't get enough of     lo ve and hugs from people   .

7.  This weekend I am    going to edit and enjoy time with friends before my oversees adventures!  .

Friday, October 7, 2011

It is Friday, wish it was Monday



Well well well let's fill the blanks of this beautiful Friday!
 I'm linking up with the little things we do



1.   Something popular that I can't stand/just don't "get" is      aliens, unless they come into my life I am not worried or really concerned about them or their existence  .

2.   Something unpopular that I secretly love is          .

3.  When I've had a bad day I   hang out with the people that make me smile and laugh, until we washed the day away   .

4. I'd prefer    sushi    to    pizza      any day.

5.  Something that makes me nervous is    the next couple of months of moving out of NY and then out of California .

6.  Something worth fighting for is     happiness and peace of mind and spirit   .

7.  When people think of me, I hope they think    she is amazing, loving and caring, I want her to be part of my life  .


Friday, September 23, 2011

Rainy Friday

So I am new at this, it sounds fun, and with all the pain and anger I've been sharing, I thought I should change the mood for a bit if I can hold it.

It goes something like, I'm linking up with the little things we do and it is something of fill in the blank friday




1.   The best thing I did all week was  Going for the first time ever to the Yankee Stadium.

2.    Relaxing days      make me super happy.

3.  Pets are   such a California reminder   .

4.    Family   is the best thing about my life.

5.  With the cooler weather I am looking forward to    wearing scarves and coats .

6.  Something that's on my "wish list" right now is     shoes! beautiful new season heels!   .

7.  This weekend I am going to    go to a museum, meet family and smile  .


Have an amazing weekend!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

A letter to my pain...




This is not a goodbye letter.
This is not the end of our time together. Because it ended time ago.
This is nothing more than me closing the door.

For so long I have been thinking about our time and everything, and now is time for me to let go, of you, of me, of us.


Because I never got the chance to say this face to face, now I've been cornered to write it down and publish it here, until a hysterical or drunk moment drives me to send it to you.

In the meantime I'll get it off my chest.

September 2011

You kept saying how you didn't want to push me away and how much you liked me. But after all you pushed me away, so far away that there was no way back.

I understand it is out of pain and panic that you didn't let me in, but on the longer run if you don't let anybody near then you'll suffer more.

I know you are distrustful and you've been hurt, but not everybody is going to hurt you, not purposely at least.

And as I've told you before pain is part of life, to care for someone is to let the good with the bad. And yeah caring for someone and loving someone will bring times of happiness but there will be some others than won't be; but it is all worth it, the good times are worth the not so good ones.

Probably the time wasn't right for us, although we could have made it work if we wanted to. To let people in you have to make space for them, and that doesn't mean leaving everything for them, but arrange time to have with each other. Even if it means nothing more than doing work together. But make space for her in your life.

You are an amazing guy, my shy boy, believe it and let someone near don't drive people away.

I care for you and I hope you find what you want in life and you conquer it.




UPDATE:
I sent it, and not under alcohol or hysteria but after a long thought process and various talks with friends, so I rewrite it and this is it:



September 2011

Pain is inevitable it is part of life.
You taught me things about life and about me, and that makes it worth it. Knowing you and having you be part of my life made that pain worth it. And I would not have changed it or want it any different, because I learned from you and from us.
We talked constantly that people come into your life for a reason and they don’t always stay forever. So our time run out, but I don’t regret , I gave it all and I learned from it, yes I got hurt but as I’ve said it is part of life. To care for someone is to let the good with the bad. And yeah caring for someone and loving someone will bring times of happiness but there will be some others than won't be; but it is all worth it, the good times are worth the not so good ones.
But I hope that you learned from it too, and if there were something I would want you to keep is that you shouldn’t push people away from you. I am not saying let everybody in and let them hurt you, it is not about that, but you shouldn’t let everybody out. You shouldn’t distrust everyone.
I understand it is out of pain and panic that you didn't let me in, but not everybody is going to hurt you, not purposely at least. And you have to make space in your life for them.
You kept saying how you didn't want to push me away and how much you liked me. But in the end that is what you did.
You are an amazing guy, my shy boy, believe it and let someone near don't drive everybody away.
I care for you and I hope you find what you want in life and you conquer it.