Far away

I have been out of this part of my world for a little bit. Why? I could say because I am busy but knowing me, I could argue that is an excuse.

So really I have been out because I might be afraid of how I feel and what I feel. I am super stressed out and hurting, physically hurting. All due to this job hunting and new life coping situation... At least that is what I think.

I am back because I need to talk to someone about how I feel, and I don't really want to drop this on anybody. So post it here on my free space, free for words, and free of judgment.

The thing is I can't complain, not about my life and not about my surroundings, but I am past way stressed and this needs to change because this is not healthy at all and I am not getting any younger.

Let's breath together... One... Two... and Three...

Read around

"...
But reading isn’t what she really wants. Not deep down. What she really wants is for someone – anyone at all – to tap her on the shoulder and invite her into their world. To ask her questions and tell her stories. To be interested. To laugh with her. To want her to be a part of their life.

But it isn’t even this connection with someone new that she wants most. At least not at the deepest level. At the deepest level, in the core of her soul, even fleeting connections with others seem to interfere with what she desires most. Which is to know that she’s truly loved. That she’s not alone in this world. And that whatever she was put here to do, in time, will be done and shared with others who care.
..."

This is nor the beginning or the end of this story Where We Must Go When We Feel Lost and Alone.
But it is a story worth reading. I identify a little with it, and it makes me smile and feel sad at the same time, because I understand, I feel it, but I can sometimes overcome it.

There is also one of the comments that hits the point so accurately, and the question remains: how unsustainable are our lives?