Far away

I have been out of this part of my world for a little bit. Why? I could say because I am busy but knowing me, I could argue that is an excuse.

So really I have been out because I might be afraid of how I feel and what I feel. I am super stressed out and hurting, physically hurting. All due to this job hunting and new life coping situation... At least that is what I think.

I am back because I need to talk to someone about how I feel, and I don't really want to drop this on anybody. So post it here on my free space, free for words, and free of judgment.

The thing is I can't complain, not about my life and not about my surroundings, but I am past way stressed and this needs to change because this is not healthy at all and I am not getting any younger.

Let's breath together... One... Two... and Three...

I did not miss high school

I don't miss high school. I was happy when I was there but I was happier when it ended and I moved on to University.

I was done with high school then as I am now.

I still keep 2 good friends and some good acquaintances; because of that I have to go to parties and reunions that I would rather avoid, because I don't want to go back in time to that time, or bring that time now.

Unlike most of them I searched for my world outside those 4 walls, and those were not the happiest of my life. I was happy and I accomplished everything I wanted, but that was it and I rather be here now.

Because of who I am and how I am, I was kind of an outsider, part but not really part of them. And I don't belong there now either.

It is interesting falling in a place that you rather not be in, or better if it was different.

I respect the people whose friends are from high school, but I am not one of them. I have 2 friends from that stage of my life, and going with them places means being with their high school circle of friends, people that were not my friends and not my acquaintances, so it feels like being in high school and I don't like that feeling.

I haven't missed high school for a second in my life.

Will we forget?

Our bodies have memories.

Your hands remember the touch of my body, my hands remember your face. Yours lips can trace mine in that everlasting kiss.

I don't want to let go. I rather live in this moment where you are here, holding me, kissing me, making me feel loved. The moment I have been dreaming off since the last day I saw you, what seems like a hundred weeks ago.

I know it can't last forever and I know I won't see you again, but for now I want to hold on to this moment and not let go. Not ever and not now.

Our bodies have memories. So come back.

Kiss me like you do, hold me like you never want to let me go. Hold me with your strong hands. Trace me with your lips.

I want to talk to you and I want to kiss you. I want to walk the street by your side, holding you like you are mine. Like once we did, because we belonged to each other and everybody had to see.

That was not a chick flick...

It is not that I love to watch chick flicks (I do love movies, any kind, so I love chick flicks). But when I go into a movie theater to watch a chick flick, I expect exactly that... a chick flick. Not a sad movie that makes me want to cry through it all, and then at the end they try and fix it with a happy ever after.
I do not like it at all.
I do not want to go into a theater wanting to see a sweet and awwww kind of comedy, and having tears in my eyes, praying to a supreme deity that no one ever has to go live anything like they do in the movie.
When I go into a chick flick, I want to see a romantic and sweet movie with a spoon of laughter, that of course has a happy ending.
So no, I did not like "Life as we know it" and no it is not a chick flick.