Time to let go...

It is that moment in my life when I have to choose between letting go or staying behind, and for that matter there really isn't a plausible option of staying behind, it is more like keeping this depressed-hostile-attitude while the world keeps going. So of course I am choosing 'letting go' because I am tired of suffering, of disappointments and all that involves dragging your past.

I am making a list of everything that I am letting go.

So here we go:
-I am letting go of the heart-breaking experience of moving out of California and leaving that kind of life and amazing friends behind.
-I am letting go of those horrible friends that kept my life miserable in Mexico.
-I am letting go of the pain my dad went through when he lost his father and letting go of the pain I went through losing a grandfather.
-I am letting go of that job at the Film Festival that didn't quite worked for me.
-I am letting go of the guy that I kind of liked that stood me up.
-I am letting go of that illusion with the Colombian guy.
-I am letting go of all the fears of failing and succeeding.
-I am letting go my dragging feet attitude.
-I am letting go of the feeling of not being good enough in every aspect that I have it.
-I am letting go of my depressed thoughts that involves "life sucks".

I am letting go of my past because "As long as you live in the past, you'll never find your future."

What? I'm loving Wednesday!

It's been a long time since I'm loving a Wednesday and even longer since I've said out loud or here.

So let's be grateful for this beautiful life and this happy Wednesday!

I am linking up with Jamie from the blog This Kind of Love and here it goes...

 

 I'm loving the little butterflies that fly inside of me!

I'm loving all the traveling! I've been very lucky this year!

I'm loving my sweet family that are being so supportive.

I'm loving all the new friends I have made this couple of months.

I'm loving having the energy to love this Wednesday!

I'm loving XXVI

It is an up and down, here and there, birthdays celebrations and even black clouds kind of week, but I am loving this week! It is my week!


I am linking up with Jamie from the blog This Kind of Love and here it goes, What I'm Loving Wednesday...

I'm loving my birthday! It is today! XXVI :)


I'm loving my dads bday! Yesterday!


I'm loving my family who indulge me in my multiple bday celebrations and all craziness when it comes to Feb 22!


I'm loving my friends who lo ve me even as crazy as I am!


I'm loving the multiple bday celebrations! It is only once that I get to XXVI


I'm loving life with its ups and downs!


I'm loving the beautiful sunshine today!


I'm loving!

Week please change

Happy Monday!!!
Sweet Tuesday.
Weird Wednesday...
Sometimes I lo ve Wed nes dayssssss,
Relax on Thursday.
I definitely didn't fill in the Friday...
Non-sleep Saturday,
And I cried Sunday.




That has been my week, but tomorrow a new one begins...

I did not miss high school

I don't miss high school. I was happy when I was there but I was happier when it ended and I moved on to University.

I was done with high school then as I am now.

I still keep 2 good friends and some good acquaintances; because of that I have to go to parties and reunions that I would rather avoid, because I don't want to go back in time to that time, or bring that time now.

Unlike most of them I searched for my world outside those 4 walls, and those were not the happiest of my life. I was happy and I accomplished everything I wanted, but that was it and I rather be here now.

Because of who I am and how I am, I was kind of an outsider, part but not really part of them. And I don't belong there now either.

It is interesting falling in a place that you rather not be in, or better if it was different.

I respect the people whose friends are from high school, but I am not one of them. I have 2 friends from that stage of my life, and going with them places means being with their high school circle of friends, people that were not my friends and not my acquaintances, so it feels like being in high school and I don't like that feeling.

I haven't missed high school for a second in my life.

Will we forget?

Our bodies have memories.

Your hands remember the touch of my body, my hands remember your face. Yours lips can trace mine in that everlasting kiss.

I don't want to let go. I rather live in this moment where you are here, holding me, kissing me, making me feel loved. The moment I have been dreaming off since the last day I saw you, what seems like a hundred weeks ago.

I know it can't last forever and I know I won't see you again, but for now I want to hold on to this moment and not let go. Not ever and not now.

Our bodies have memories. So come back.

Kiss me like you do, hold me like you never want to let me go. Hold me with your strong hands. Trace me with your lips.

I want to talk to you and I want to kiss you. I want to walk the street by your side, holding you like you are mine. Like once we did, because we belonged to each other and everybody had to see.

Cali Friday

This is my first Friday back in Cali, and I have to say I mi ss a bit of NY. But soooon I'll be off so let's make the best out of this beautiful hot week!!!

 I'm linking up with the little things we do

 

 

 

1.   The most selfless thing I've ever done was     I'll probably have to say that when I help someone, anyone at all I do it selflessly, I like helping people for the sake of seeing them accomplish or solve their problems .

2.   When it comes to working out   I lo ve martial arts and dancing, sometimes also yoga, but I hate treadmills!      .

3.  A woman should always  Be happy! with herself and not look for approval in others, we are strong and beautiful as we are   .

4. I wish I could    have an editor to rely on for my documentaries! it would make everything easier   .

5.  A best friend is   one that you could talk about everything, that you can argue with, that you can have fun, that you can be in silence with, one that ones when to hug you and when to not literally but that knows when to slap you .

6.  I can't get enough of     lo ve and hugs from people   .

7.  This weekend I am    going to edit and enjoy time with friends before my oversees adventures!  .

That was not a chick flick...

It is not that I love to watch chick flicks (I do love movies, any kind, so I love chick flicks). But when I go into a movie theater to watch a chick flick, I expect exactly that... a chick flick. Not a sad movie that makes me want to cry through it all, and then at the end they try and fix it with a happy ever after.
I do not like it at all.
I do not want to go into a theater wanting to see a sweet and awwww kind of comedy, and having tears in my eyes, praying to a supreme deity that no one ever has to go live anything like they do in the movie.
When I go into a chick flick, I want to see a romantic and sweet movie with a spoon of laughter, that of course has a happy ending.
So no, I did not like "Life as we know it" and no it is not a chick flick.

Let's talk about me, let's color my world...

Sometimes I think I have found my voice… other I think I am still in the search…
I write to discover it, to discover me. Every step I take, takes me closer to it, to me.

I have always been red; no doubt, no questions asked. It has been my favorite color since I can remember. I would buy everything in that color, pens, clothes, bags, everything.
Now what does red means? It is passion, fire, intensity… There are no substitutions.
And I was red in all the sense of the word.
Almost a year ago something started to change, I wasn’t sure what or how, and I am not sure when did it start and when will it end, but I am changing I can feel it in the air, in the water, in the fire and mostly in me…
Suddenly I was more into purple than red, I would sometimes think purple was my favorite color. For a long time I tried to ignore it, I kept saying red was it and I was red.
When change appears it is inevitable. There is no stopping or turning back. But I didn’t understand it at all; and I didn’t like it a bit. Why was I liking purple? Why was I becoming purple? It didn’t make sense.
Suddenly I wasn’t going out that much, I was kind of laying low; all of this was making me sad and depressed, I didn’t understand at all. I was frustrated to be purple, because red is a great color, and I loved everything about being red.
After a couple of months really sad because I could see I was changing, but depressed because I wasn’t red and I was feeling purple, bug I was seeing blue. And while wondering people told me I was never going to stop being red, but I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t understand any of it. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t wanted to go out, not partying, not dancing, not nothing; even people around me didn’t understand, they thought I was getting sick or something. I didn’t want to stop being red; I was holding on to it, don’t wanting to let go.
But suddenly one day it hit me, like lighting, what I wasn’t seeing was that purple = red + blue, I was adding blue to my palette. And it made sense blue is cool, calm, and pacific; I was growing, maturing.
It was the increase in blue what made me blue, I didn’t know how to deal with it, I had never had blue in me, but I am becoming purple, a combination of red and blue. I have my red days and my blue days; I party and sometimes I stay home; I go out and sometimes I cook in; I see people and I enjoy my solitude. Now it doesn’t make me sad not wanting to go out, I enjoy my alone time, I enjoy my home. I don’t have to be out all night every night. I am growing and maturing, I am changing, but now through color I understand what is happening with me. Now I am purple, but I will always have a little red in me. I can still pull an all nighter, but I can enjoy a staying in.
Sometimes my favorite color is still red, sometimes I feel blue, but now I am purple and purple is me.

"I am not longer the same: my personality hasn't change, but certainly my being-in-the-world has." Sartre, (in a letter to Simone on Sept 28, 1939)